SimplySwitch founder Karen Darby is about to embark on a journey to Libya. But will her "Darbyisms" make any sense in Arabic?
4 July 2007: Bad news – I have to book the flight tickets myself. British Airways has a daily flight, but it is £1,300 for the cheapest ticket. Of course, I can afford it, but I don’t like exposing myself to debt, particularly from oversees creditors.
5 July 2007: Yet more bad news – they have changed the dates of the conference. I hope BA can change my flights without any hassle.
6 July 2007: I’ve just learned that Shell is going to be sponsoring the event. Their exec has been on the phone to me checking me out. He keeps telling me how many senior, and therefore very important, people are going to be there. I wonder if Gaddafi will come? Having met Gordon Brown I wouldn’t mind adding him to the list of world leaders that I’ve dazzled as a witty raconteur. Feeling very self-important now!
9 July 2007: Received the following short email from the British Council:
“Our interpreters are waiting.”
It’s not just that I hate writing speeches; I hate writing anything. When it comes to making presentations I practise “just-in-time management”. In other words, I put everything off ‘til the very last minute and the adrenaline gets me over the winning line. I know it drives people nuts but it works for me.
15 minutes later: Another email from the British Council, this time inviting me to a function at the British Embassy. It’s only three hours after I arrive – am I up for it? “Yes!” I reply. Who would pass up the chance to dine with the ambassador? They may even break out the Ferrero Rocher.
Later that day: Another reminder asking for my written speech. I’m not going to be able to wriggle out of this one. I’m going to have to slug it out on the PC. They want me to put the British Council and Shell logos on my PowerPoint slides and have sent me nine attachments to use… how nice!
Sometime in the early hours: This is proving more difficult than I imagined. My regularly used expressions and “Darbyisms” are not going to make any sense in Arabic. I’m going to have to use proper English. And there’s absolutely no chance of my risqué humour translating! I’ll probably end up just being offensive, and I’m not so sure that’s a good idea this far from home… in an authoritarian regime… where there’s no right to a fair public trial… and they still have the death penalty...
Don't miss Karen Darby's next diary entries, where she embarks – and leaves her mark – on Libya.