All carbon footprints lead to the pub
by John Timpson - Thursday, 30th August 2007 -
I first saw climate change as a problem in 1976. I had just become a managing director and, in anticipation of future wealth, Alex decided to build a swimming pool in our garden.
The diggers dug during the hottest summer on record – bad news for cobblers who rely on wet pavements and puddles to reveal the holes in people’s soles.
The heat wave started in June and continued well into September, when Harold Wilson appointed Denis Howell as Minister for Drought. Denis solved the problem within days; the heavens opened the same week our swimming pool was completed.
Next summer we confidently booked a family holiday in Cornwall –it rained for a fortnight. The nearest we got to fun was putting on anoraks to visit a Shire Horse Stud and Butterfly Farm. It didn’t help when I told Alex the weather was good for business.
In the sweltering summer of 1994 shoe repair sales fell 20 per cent, but there was no Minister for Drought. John Major left us to the elements and market forces.
Now Gordon Brown is working on my behalf, determined to defeat global warming, rescue the planet and save its cobblers, but I wonder if he will be successful. The world is getting warmer and carbon emissions are a cause, but I am not convinced mankind can control the climate.
It is politically incorrect to contradict the BBC, but I feel bullied by their arguments based on rhetoric: “Anyone who does the research will know…”, “If you have a social conscience you will surely…”, “Scientists agree…”, even though plenty of scientists take a different view.
I accept my Range Rover is not ideal, but its problems are pretty puny compared with the natural evolution of our planet. When the facts are finally understood, Gordon Brown may seem more like King Canute (who sat on his throne and commanded the tide to turn), as opposed to Noah, who anticipated climate change and dealt with its consequences.
But Gordon’s mind is made up and he will soon pursue his eco-policy, conserving energy by raising new taxes through a carbon footprint fee.
There will be 100,000 ecocouncillors on hand to help you become carbon positive, and 300,000 energy inspectors will check your corporate responsibility index. But Gordon should beware: the bigger the tax, the more his carbon footprint register will be abused.
I have seen it all before. Forty years ago the government introduced a levy to encourage more training extra money spent on training lowered the levy. Within months most meetings became training courses and 40 per cent of business travel was training related.
There will soon be a crowd of ecoconsultants to help us minimise the cost of Gordon’s environment tax, but wouldn’t it be better to focus on ways to cope with the inevitable climate change nature intended?
We need consultants with the vision of Noah. Thankfully, at Timpson, action has been taken. We now offer key cutting, engraving and watch repairs that all do well in hot weather when cobbling sales collapse.
But, when it comes to vision, look no further than Alex, who two years ago persuaded me to buy a pub by the beach – 150 feet above sea level. With all this sunshine, business is booming.
So forget about the Caribbean. Stay in the UK and come to Rhoscolyn on Anglesey, where you can enjoy a meal at The White Eagle and do wonders for your carbon footprint.
John Timpson is chief executive of Timpson. His business books, including the latest, How to Be a Great Big Boss, are available from www.timpson.co.uk
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