by John Timpson - Monday, 29th October 2007 -

Q: I’ve invited some clients for a round of golf but I’m confused about the etiquette. Who pays for what?

A: Pay for everything and keep smiling. But these days you don’t have to let your guest win, so you won’t have to pay him winnings as well as fork out for the rest of his day.

It’s only fair that the person who issued the invitation is the one who pays, but how should the guest act? If it was me, I would accept the green fee but pay for the trolley. I’d let my host pay for dinner as long as I could pay for my share of the drinks, and I would send a hand-written letter to say thank you. Don’t downgrade your thanks by sending an email.

Corporate entertaining can bring more harm than good. There is a thin line between client perks and buyers’ bribes. But entertaining is bound to remain a big part of business.

Clients will still eagerly turn up for a five-hour round of golf, and salesmen will continue to make strained conversation while pretending to watch a test match.

I’d rather go on my own to the Open Championship to avoid corporate spectators who are keener on drink than golf. And at the football I prefer a seat in the stands to the director’s box. When watching Manchester City I like to suffer in silence.

Q: I’m selling my business and my employees are starting to panic. I’m not in a position to make them any promises. What should I do?

A: Are you sure your employees know what’s in your mind? Every time I’ve done a deal I’ve been paranoid, afraid to look anyone in the eye for fear they know the truth. And every time the news is announced it’s been a total surprise to them. So don’t worry about the rumours; continue to run the business as if the deal was never happening.

It is sensible to look after your key people with proper pay and a decent contract, but don’t be tempted to tell them about the transaction. A deal is never done until it’s signed and sealed, so there’s no point in creating false fears.

And, let’s face it, a takeover can often be bad news for the loyal employees: your HR director will probably insist on a consultation period after the deal’s completion, and everyone will find they are protected under law by TUPE, but once a new CEO strides into the boardroom, life will never be the same again.

Don’t take anything for granted, either. You may arrogantly assume your employees would fear a change of ownership, but perhaps the prospect of new management will be greeted with a sense of joy and relief.

Q: I’d like to boost our brand image and have thought about getting a celebrity endorsement. What’s your take on signing a star?

A: There are enough risks in business without adding another dicey dimension. You’re probably thinking of successful campaigns such as Twiggy for Marks & Spencer, Gary Lineker for Walkers Crisps and Kate Moss for Topshop.

But these are big companies with big stars spending a big budget. Some companies are a natural for celebrity endorsement: I can understand Nike spending a fortune on Tiger Woods, but I can’t see “The Tiger” doing much for my shoe repair business.

Most of us can’t afford the A-list. OK, Heat and Hello magazines give you a catalogue of the possibilities, but your budget can probably only afford people from The Bill or Big Brother. These C-list celebrities have achieved their ambition of becoming famous but are unlikely to do the same for your brand.

Famous names don’t come cheap, and there are better ways to spend your money. I admire the way Richard Branson and Victor Kiam have advertised their own brand. But it is Halifax who has really found the answer: their own employees are the superstars.

We also use the home team – I’d rather have my business promoted by cobblers
than cricketers or crooners.

Our advertising budget is zero; we rely on good service to impress our customers who, in turn, will hopefully spread our reputation by word of mouth.