Entrepreneurs, don't try to befriend me

by Catherine Woods - Thursday, 24th July 2008 - (4) comments - Business comment

There are many things in this life that are rant-worthy: nude moisturising in gym changing rooms; the passport and visa system; minicab drivers. But my new-favourite rant is this: the annoying, cutesy way an increasing number of companies are choosing to converse with their customers.

Virgin is the pioneer of this type of thing with its conversational style. “We hope you’re having fun setting up in your new place. But before you plug in your telly, switch on your PC or pick up the phone, we’ve got big news for you!”

And where Branson has gone, others have followed.

Take, for example, Innocent Drinks: “Hello, we make lovely natural fruit drinks like pure fruit smoothies and fresh yoghurt thickies.”

Another drinks company, Firefly Tonics, has a website that’s positively dripping in it: “Websites are funny, aren't they? I mean, you visit a site to find out something quick – then you find yourself rooting around behind the scenes – what's really going on, who are these people...”

And now Orange is getting in on the act. They’re revamping their Kings Road store and they’ve got posters up with the slogan, "Hey, no peeking".

Enough!

Next thing you know, the banks will be following suit. On the top of your statements will be something along the lines of:

“Hey Catherine! Someone’s been spending up big, haven’t they?! Your balance is x but because you’ve been such a good girl and have been saving loads and loads of lovely money, we’ve been able to give you x interest in the past month, which means you’ve got more money to spend on shoes! Woo hoo! HSBC xox”

What may have been cutting edge and irreverent five years ago is now plain annoying. You’re not cool and you’re not my friend! You’re the company I buy broadband/drinks/food/mobile phone services from and that’s it! Don’t try to pretend you’re "down with the kids".

There’s nothing wrong with trying to avoid being staid and boring, but my dear entrepreneurs, I beseech you: please find another way of doing this.

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4 Comments

July 31, 2008 1:14pm
Catherine Woods Says:

Ah but therein lies the rub, Mr Martin. Being different and standing out from the crowd used to pay off… but now it’s just naff because everyone is trying to add the same kind of “friendly, personal, quirky” touch. Even large corporates like Orange! Yes, it’s helped Innocent (and Firefly – Hi Harry) to get to where they are today and obviously I wouldn’t recommend they change what they do, but maybe it’s time for companies to look for new ways of being “unique”. I quote from the blog: “There’s nothing wrong with trying to avoid being staid and boring, but my dear entrepreneurs, I beseech you: please find another way of doing this.” PS Not angry… just excitable :) Except when it comes to minicab drivers. They really make my blood boil.

July 31, 2008 12:32pm
Dan Martin, BusinessZone.co.uk Says:

Catherine, is it me or are you a tad angry?! These tactics do work though or big businesses wouldn't be employing them. Being different and standing out from the crowd clearly pays off. The friendly, personal, quirky touch is part of Innocent's DNA and look at how successful they've been. Personally, I much prefer the statements you refer to than a boring, uninspiring corporate website. Dan Martin Editor, www.businesszone.co.uk

July 30, 2008 7:16pm
Dean Says:

That is the power of the Google alert right there! you cant talk about anyone behind their back any more!

July 24, 2008 4:40pm
Harry Says:

Thanks Catherine - fair cop - that line was pretty awful. But I guess, if you weren't a journalist, you probably wouldn't be reading our "news" page anyway. And if you'd carried on, it says "Now, come on, surely no-one would want to read [all this rubbish]". So I was sort of acknowledging that all this "get to know us" stuff is kind of silly. Still, always nice to have a mention in Real Business. And I promise we won't try and befriend you any further. Harry