by Rebecca Burn-Callander - Thursday, 1st May 2008 - - Business comment

Sir Alan gives Kevin the boot, and not a moment too soon.

It was impossible not to cringe at last night’s episode. The brief: come up with a new occasion for a range of greetings cards. The result? Team Alpha spends four hours “toying with an apostrophe” and Renaissance pitch “Save The Earth Week”, forgetting that cards are made of PAPER.

Nevertheless, the right team won.

Despite the flaws in their “Singles’ Day” concept, Alpha team leader Michael chose the right man to pitch the product – our very own entrepreneur Raef Bjayou. And unlike Renaissance, they planned their case well in advance. There was the added advantage that environmentalist Jenny was not present during their meeting with Clinton Cards to announce that she doesn’t buy greetings cards any more.

What a foolish comment. But the crown for “biggest dumbass” goes to another candidate.

Let’s not mince words here. Kevin is an idiot. Behind the pink face and flapping lips, his small eyes shine with ignorance.

He was criticised by the retail buyers, and Sir Alan himself, for his arrogance and cocky attitude. Throughout the programme, Kevin demanded all the rope: as team-leader; advocate of the green theme; and finally, the pitcher. And yes, he hung himself.

“I’d really need to balls it up big-time for it not to sell,” he bragged to his team-mates. And balls it up he did.

Claire, who we’re warming to by the way - little by little, described Kevin as a “pitbull”, and a snappy one at that. He pointed at buyers during pitches, and preached at them over their lack of commitment to saving the planet. Does Kevin strike you as an eco-warrior?

But there are lessons to be learned. If you’re pitching an idea, have a cohesive argument. And, for God’s sake don’t insult your prospective buyer: “If you don’t put your weight behind this, it’s just like the US saying I don’t care about pollution.”

Know your target market. Kevin: “I know who your market is. It’s everyone.”

Highlights: The bare-bottomed “farting” man in the kilt.
Michael’s outburst in the boardroom. Upon winning the task, he balls a fist and yells “C’mon”. Margaret’s face was priceless.

Lowlights: The hideous treatment of Sara over her apparent non-involvement in the task. Kudos to Raef for leaping to her defence.
Jenny’s absence from the boardroom. She deserved to be there.

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